Superheroes

Have you ever felt embarrassed by the things that you used to like?

    I don’t remember how I discovered superheroes, but by the time I was in preschool, they were my favorite topic. I personally was a huge fan of the Power Rangers and the Japanese Masked Riders series, and watched every new season. I collected the figures, collectible cards, and the big, chunky gadgets with flashing lights and sounds. When I saw new toys at my friends’ houses, I would spend hours playing with those toys, fascinated by them. I was so into them that I went to a Power Ranger museum, taking photos with each of the heroes that, at the time, I didn’t know were random people dressed up. I’d write my own comics based on the superheroes and pretend that I was one of them, fighting the invisible monsters in the backyard.

    It wasn’t until maybe fifth grade when I started to feel embarrassed talking about superheroes. My friends that I had once talked about superheroes with had grown up and moved on from it, and now I felt like I was the same age as their younger brothers in preschool. I was worried that if anybody found out that I loved superheroes, I would be bullied in middle school and wouldn’t have any friends. I felt ashamed that I once believed the shows I was watching were real and I could be like the heroes someday. I cut ties with the superheroes that year. I stopped watching the new episodes and gave away my toys. I deleted my Youtube playlist for my favorite superhero videos and sealed away all of my superhero DVDs into the back of the cabinet. And after a few months, I really did move on and forget about what used to be my favorite thing ever.

    I didn’t last too long because, a few months later (although it felt like years), I got a Youtube video of a Masked Rider fan showcasing all his gadgets – all the toys I wished I had in my childhood. And although I told myself that I moved on, I gave in to temptation and clicked on the video, obviously after checking to make sure no one was around. As I watched the video, I reminisced about the good days, watching the cool mechanics and sound effects the gadgets produced. It wasn’t until the end of the video that I realized that the YouTuber showcasing the toys was a grown man, maybe in his twenties or thirties. I was shocked. I thought that superheroes were something that people left behind when they were like ten years old! How was this guy not ashamed!? But then I realized that so many of the people watching and commenting on the video weren’t little kids. And this new community of people, with whom I had zero interactions with, made me realize that superheroes are not limited to kids, and nothing was embarrassing about it. I mean there are plenty of Marvel and DC fans out there, and none of them are ashamed. So what’s there to be embarrassed about liking a different franchise of superheroes?

    Since then, even several years later, I still get YouTube videos of my childhood heroes, which now, I can shamelessly watch. I am no longer the hardcore fan I was ten years ago; I don’t watch every new episode in the series or collect all the goods. That doesn’t mean I am not a fan anymore, though – I still watch episodes from time to time. I no longer watch the videos to see the defeat of the final boss, but instead, I am interested in the deep storyline, unique costumes, and morals for children. I don’t spend money on the fancy gadgets I don’t need, yet I am still fascinated by the engineering behind them. Today, I don’t look up to these heroes for saving the world from a giant monster. I look up to them for the way they can give strength, courage, and happiness to people, from little preschoolers to grown adults. One day, still, I hope to be like them.

(this blog is around 675 words so I am open to suggestions to cut it down. Thanks!)